

should I or should I not? Humiliate these poor boys that already flopped the flop and flipped the lids. the truth is, we are tired of having to say no, once in a while it would be cool to give our numbers out, right ladies??? So ill write this post off as an experimental “what not to do”, that way I wont feel like such a bitch.
One liners……. Don’t. Work. I encountered one in particular this week that is a definite do not ever ever not even ever ever.
This guy was druuuuuunk, ill give him that, but that’s no excuse. “Wow your a bombshell what’s your name” (creeper nob turns up notch) “colette what’s your name?” “I wanna lick your whole body” ………………………………………………………………………………………………..next.
Unless your Jake Gyllenhaal and your line reading is very different from slursMcGee, that line will NEVER WORK!
Last nights attempter was pretty creative. He started off normal…from San Diego. “O My sister goes to school there.” Boom! He’s in! im engaging in conversation (lol)
Then he takes a turn for the worse “you look like a dominatrix. You look like the kind of girl that would chain me up and whip me” ………………..“your terribly mistaken”
I walk away. 15 minutes later I feel someones nose in my hair. Its him “wow you smell really good”…..I walk away again. 10 minutes later “so do you work?” “Yeah” “O wow independent girl. youre such a good girl I like that” no comment. “Do you make more than 250 dollars a day?” “sure.” “that’s cool! I make more money than you” “ok” ….in the process of walking away….. again… ” hey what are you doing later? Because my friends cousin is the guitarist of avenge sevenfold and i might be able to introduce you guys.”
I curse the girl that that line would work on.
What a joke. I said “no thanks” and left all together.
Name dropping…..in Santa Monica California…. probably not a good look. Avenge Sevenfold? Who? Ok… anyway…. that guy needs a prescription from Dr. Love a.s.a.p. Heavy doses of swag and manners.
I can’t even really describe the horror of this next guy. O god. Short and sweet. He kept poking me! Constantly! He thought I was so cute and funny that he uncontrollably would lightly karate chop me in the neck! and pushed my arm! Enough was enough, I wad livid. After tolerating him boinking my neck with the side of his hand for far too long I almost wrecked him. Instead I took a deep breath and bounced.
This is my retaliation. This is my plead…dudes….get your shit together. Youre a mess! No one wants to be licked from head to toe by the guy spitting chicken tenders out of his mouth every other word, no one wants to be poked, blinked or pushed around, and no one…no one! wants to sleep with you in exchange for possibly meeting your friends cousin who plays the guitar in an emo band. ok!?
That’s my take on the situation. That is what not to do. And that’s all folks……be good.
…………….that was my weekend……………………